Kanye Isn’t ‘American’ Enough For Trump’s Inauguration, Sad!

“Sorry your wife had to deal with the same kind of fake news as me.”
“The pee stuff? No, that was real as shit. I talked about it in my vows.”

Ever since Kanye West went from a week-long mental evaluation directly into a meeting with the President-elect of the United States, everyone assumed he was about to be tapped for Secretary of Health and Human Services, or at the very least, performing at the zero hour of America’s cold, orange winter. Except the idea of Kanye performing at the inauguration wasn’t even considered, because of this amazingly coded reason from the chairman of the Presidential Inauguration Committee that doesn’t at all sound like an old white guy trying his best not to use the term “hippity-hop music.” Via Jezebel:

When Burnett asked about the possibility of a Kanye appearance, he sang the artist’s praises but not to the extent that they would include him. Barrack explained, “He’s been great, he considers himself a friend of the president-elect, but it’s not the venue,” continuing, “It’s going to be typically and traditionally American, and Kanye is a great guy, we just haven’t asked him to perform. And we move on with our agenda.”

Jesus. Christ. Let’s not even dip a toe in the obvious racial undertones of that horseshit and just go with the idea that Kanye’s too polarizing for the Trump administration. That’s absolutely the most generous interpretation there could possibly be for that statement, and assuming that’s the case — It’s not, this is coded racism. — then that’s actually kind of impressive if you think about it.

“Who do we like for the Dept. of Energy?”
“How bout dipshit Rick Perry? He doesn’t even know what that is.”
“What about my inauguration? Kanye’s offered to sing his raps.”
“Not a good idea, sir. Amazingly, people hate him more than you, and you’re about to fuck this whole country up.”
“That’s true, I am, and nobody’s doing anything about it! Now pass me that pitcher of urine so I can pour it all over my face and mouth. These meetings get me so parched.”

(Pee jokes are journalism now. Deal with it.)

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