Kourtney Kardashian made it a point to let everyone know she had sex with Justin Bieber over the weekend, so it only makes sense that her next move would be to tell PEOPLE that she still wants to make things work with Scott Disick. Wait, what?
According to a Kardashian source, she and Bieber “hung out together with friends, but didn’t spend the night together. Kourtney is still serious about making things work with Scott. She went to the birthday party for Cash first and was ready to party more after. They chatted, had fun but that was it. Kourtney is finished hooking up with Justin.”
So one of two things happened here, and it definitely wasn’t Kourtney not banging Justin Bieber because what’s the rule, kids? The opposite of whatever a Kardashian says is true. Very good.
1. Kourtney had sex with Justin Bieber and it was so goddamn awful she missed Scott’s sad, tiny, fragile embrace followed by months of him vanishing into a pile of 19-year-olds that look like Kendall. (Odds: All of them. All of the odds.)
2. Kourtney had sex with Justin Bieber and it was so goddamn good that she can’t form sentences or make logical decisions hence all the Scott talk. (Odds: We all saw the penis photo, so let’s stop talking about it. I don’t like this post anymore.)