Alright, so we all know by now that Blac Chyna and Tyga are the deep cover Directorate S agents Obama planted inside The Kardashian Family, because he wasn’t losing another S.E.A.L. team to Khloe’s berserk attack. But while they await orders from The Center, (I just finished season two of The Americans. Is it worth it to keep going? How did Stan not kill himself?! I hate that guy.) they have to keep up appearances that they are the kind of unscrupulous shitbags a family full of Armenian whores would welcome into their fold, so Blac Chyna’s now pimping a student loan repayment scam on Instagram so reminiscent of the fraudulent Kardashian Kard, she should have called it Blac Pay. Via Jezebel:
In the post, uploaded Wednesday afternoon, the performer urged her followers to “Get rid of your student loans now!! Before he’s out of office and it’s too late. I need all my followers with over 10k in student debt to CALL 1-855-578-3444 and qualify in less than 5 mins 💕😘😘😘 HURRY!!”
Jezebel actually called and discovered that it’s basically the same as any refinance program making bullshit promises of being the cheapest when actually charging the most. Of course, that shit’s all been deleted from Blac’s page, but it doesn’t matter, because you always make the trick pay up front. That’s a lesson Rob Kardashian will re-learn every day for the next 18 years.
“No, baby, you don’t need a condom.”
“Really? We literally met a minute ago when you offered me this lap dance.”
“Totally cool. Fire away, you fat sack of secondary sex tape gold.”
“What’d you just sa– HNNNNNGGGG! I WASN’T THINKING ABOUT KIM, I SWEAR!”