5 Important Things That Are Scarily Easy To Break Into


Anything With A Lock (Including Your Home) Can Be Broken Into With A Cellphone

People’s online passwords get hacked all of the time. It’s as easy as 1-2-3 (because a shocking amount of email passwords begin with those numbers). That’s why we prefer to keep our true valuables behind a real lock. You can’t make a key by guessing someone’s maiden name and the name of their first cat. But these days, for someone to break into your car, your house, or anything you own with a lock on it, all they need is a smartphone and a well-meaning but ill-advised app.

“No two-step verification on these suckers.”

Today, it is totally possible to create a 3D replica of a key based on nothing but a random photo taken from pretty much anywhere. Leave your keys on a bar for a second — or, even worse, wear them on your belt — and it’s all over. “If you lose sight of your keys for the better part of 20 seconds, you should consider them lost,” says security consultant Joss Weyers. But even if you almost never let your keys see the light of day, that’s still not enough to stop thieves. All an intruder needs to do is take a photo of the keyhole and then use it to print or order a “bump key” — a tool specifically used for the picking of locks. With a bump key, all the burglar has to do is put it in the lock and whack the back of it with a hammer to shock the pins into submission.

If that sounds too difficult, don’t worry! Entrepreneurial app designers have striven to make this technology available to absolutely anyone, from your mom to that crazy ex of yours who recently got out on bail. Apps like KeyMe or KeysDuplicated are designed as a virtual backup for your physical passwords — what old folks would call “keys.” You take a snapshot of your key and the cloud saves a digital version of it forever. Then you can print out a replica of said key using a 3D printer or have a replacement shipped right to your house the next time you drunkenly flush your car keys down the toilet.

“Shit, my house key was on the ring …”

These apps claim that they have several parameters in place that make them theft-proof. For instance, KeyMe requires several identification steps to be completed before they’ll issue a replacement, the idea being that any burglar who uses the service will have created an extremely traceable paper trail (which sort of requires every victim of a burglary to be aware that KeyMe is a service that both exists and can be searched for such information). However, one Wired journalist managed to break into his friend’s apartment with a quick snapshot of their key. He uploaded the picture into the app’s cloud (because a cloud is super secure, of course), and within the hour, he had a new key 3D-printed at one of KeyMe’s physical kiosks. But hey, at least these entrepreneurs were able to get their apps selling a service that literally no law-abiding citizen has ever needed up and running.

“Free Coffee on Felony Friday!”


People Crash The Oscars All. The. Time.

The Academy Awards, the single biggest gathering of the world’s most attractive people and Quentin Tarantino, is bound to attract a lot of attention. This is also why it is the single most protected event in all of Hollywood, if not America. Consequently, sneaking into the Oscars seems like it would require Danny Ocean and some Mission: Impossible techno-magic masks. But the truth is most of the people who conned their way onto the red carpet sort of showed up and pretended they belonged there.

Kevin Winter/Getty Images
That would explain some things

Some carried fake passes, while others assured security that they did have tickets but had merely forgotten them, and one couple up and waltzed past a barrier. However, Dee Thompson’s balls were particularly steely. After sneaking into the 69th Academy Awards, Thompson wrote a “faith-based book” about his experience, claiming that he had prayed to be able to attend the awards and God made it His divine will for him to stand in the same room as Kate Winslet. He neglected to ask for a similar blessing of his writing talents, as his “book” amounted to little more than a flimsy pamphlet padded with the Oscars program.

Dee Thompson
“And Other Tales I Tell At The Bar.”

The incompetence of the security became so embarrassing that in 2009, a crasher made a documentary about his experience and then allowed Oscars security guards to view his film to better learn how to protect the place. The next year, 19 people were arrested for faking their way into the event, which confirms that there is at least one documentary the Academy has watched in its entirety.


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