The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.3.17

Welcome to the return of daily installments of The Crap We Missed, which technically could have been back yesterday except the stomach bug I unwittingly bought as an add-on from my son’s daycare was ripping my insides apart. Happy New Year! But I was delighted to find that in my absence Sara Jean Underwood was still rubbing her lady stuff on nature, Sad Scott Disick was still barely clinging to life during delightful family moments, Jermaine Jackson was still keeping deviant sex alive associated with the family name, and Shia LaBeouf was clearly adjusting his dick through his sweatpants. Okay, that last one wasn’t a recurring thing, but if we all close our eyes and wish really hard, it can be. *draws Shia holding math book over boner in front of whole class on dream board*

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