After his “alleged” minions unleashed a repugnant-ass tidal wave of racist revenge porn on Leslie Jones because she starred in a movie – a movie – a shrill, bleached Nazi fuckhole disguised as a human being was rewarded with a book deal. (Which reminds me, where the hell’s my deal? Did you see my last post? It was about Kim Kardashian pooping. I’m who you’ve been waiting for.) So the least we can do is hear Leslie Jones out on being Deadpool’s new sidekick. Although, if you ask me, I say pull the pin on the grenade and make her Cable. Make Leslie Jones goddamn Cable, and then step back and watch the shittiest parts of the internet light itself on fire as one of the girl Ghostbusters stars in a movie that makes a bajillion dollars. And if you don’t know who Cable is, or what the hell I’m even talking about, trust me, don’t bother looking into it. Just enjoy the warm comfort and probably awesome physical thrills of finding a personal connection with real live people. Or write me an email about what that’s like. A really long and detailed email that I promise I won’t print out and fold into a person. Haha, what?