Happy New Year!

*crawls out between 2016’s teeth, catches breath, looks back at its carcass, looks at you, looks at carcass again*

What the FUCK was that?

If you’re reading this, congratulations. You somehow survived one of the most batshit, shitshow shit years in recent memory. And after the shit its pulled, I wouldn’t be surprised if 2017 is the shit-fucking apocalypse. Just to put my own personal experience in perspective, I’ve signed legal documents barring me from talking about the things 2016 has done to me. That’s how nuts it got.

The good news is we’re all still breathing, the internet’s still working, and you can still stare at Alessandra Ambrosio’s butt on it. Enjoy it until the mushroom cloud hits in what? 20 days? Give it about 20 days.

Happy New Year,

The Superficial

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