I’m not even going to joke around about this part because what’s happening in Aleppo is a waking nightmare that’s left a staggering amount of people tortured and murdered. I’m talking women and children slaughtered, and families ripped apart while they’re forced to flee to countries that don’t want them and accuse them of being the very same terrorists that just blasted a hole in their lives. As much as we bitch about Trump, or whatever you don’t like about America, our worst day is a fraction of a fraction of what these people are going through.
On the extreme, most opposite side of that coin, Lindsay Lohan sliced her finger on a luxury yacht, and in less than a day, she went right back to living a lavish lifestyle thanks to an intricate web of blowjobbing foreign restaurateurs and operating as the freckled, freakishly strong-gripped propaganda arm of the Turkish government. I mean, jesus Christ, the top pic is her taking a shit in a tent – Am I close? I’m pretty sure I’m close. – while probably on some Mediterranean beach that she posted to Instagram barely two hours ago.
Long story short, Lindsay Lohan is nowhere fucking near the plight of a Syrian refugee, so naturally Lindsay Lohan went on CNN and said she’s close to the plight of the Syrian refugee because she cut her finger once. Page Six reports:
“Losing half of my finger and getting it back was one of the best things that happened to me,” she explained to CNN on a Facebook livestream Thursday from Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates.
“If that didn’t happen to me, if I didn’t lose a part of myself essentially — and I weirdly think about this when I meditate — I wouldn’t have stayed in Turkey. I wouldn’t have stayed there, and I wouldn’t have understood what it feels like to lose a limb.”
I know when you clicked on this post you probably thought to yourself, “There’s no way Lindsay Lohan actually says cutting her finger made her feel like a refugee. This is clickbait. This has to be clickbait.” You just read Lindsay Lohan actually saying that cutting her finger made her feel like a Syrian refugee.
Refugee: “I watched my wife and children die in my arms.”
Lindsay: “Ohmygod, I know how you feel. When I get salt from a margarita on this scratch, it’s like a part of me will be in pain forever. That will never go away.”
Lindsay: “Like never.”
Refugee: “I would like to go back to the terrorists now.”